Tying the Knot: A Lifeline or Noose?

Interesting observation: when the rowing team disperses from any one event or another; be it practice, or a party or boat unloading (which was the case this morning) we don't say goodbye to each other. The reason for this would be that we all know that we will see each other within the next 24 hours or so. This is the only group I have ever been a part of that doesn't do this. It was pointed out to me by my good friend Laurissa and it got me thinking about how much I consider the rowing team my second family and how much they mean to me. If you have ever been a part of a group that is like that you will know what I mean. Its amazing and I love it.

Onto an entirely unrelated topic, I had an interesting conversation with David about marriage while at the regatta this weekend. He was talking about how he didn't ever plan on getting married. How it was a promise that he didn't feel the need to make. That he could spend the rest of his life with a person without actually marrying them. This concept is entirely foreign to me outside of my best friend Megan who has sworn of both kids and marriage as well. I come from a family that is full of mostly successful marriages. My parents celebrated their 23rd anniversary in April, my Aunt's and Uncle's are all in working marriages or happy singlehood, and both of my Grandparents have remarried after the death of their original spouses (though to be fair my Grandfather did divorce my Grandmother before she died.)

I was raised in the Catholic church when it comes to religion and always assumed I would get married and have kids at some point in my life. But looking around I realize that I have lived the charmed life. Most people who get married these days...put quite simply...shouldn't. About 50% of marriages end in divorce and lord knows how many people just end up unhappy. Is it the social expectation that pressures people into feeling like they should get married, even when they don't want to, nor should? Why is it that people find a need to legitimize a life long relationship? Do two people who have been together most of their lives count any less than a couple that has been married for that same amount of time? Truth be told I have been 100% guilty of this. I see people who have been dating for a certain time and who are a certain age and wonder why they aren't married yet. I think of those who have been together, live together but aren't married as weird hippie people who should just commit and get it done. At the same time I have told a few of my friends who have decided to get engaged/ married at a young age that there is no rush and if they are going to be together forever why does it matter if there is a ring or not?

I think part of this is because of the general romanticized image I have of both a wedding and marriage. The white dress, the first dance, the church and the party. I think there is something to be said about making a public lifelong commitment to someone. To saying in front of friends and family that you have found a person in which you will find happiness with for the rest for your life. If you really are planning on spending forever with this person what difference does it make if you decide to make it official. It won't stop the pain if it ends, and it is a public acknowledgment of claimed territory to others; of course the big thing would be that it is a commitment made in front of God. I prescribe to a liberal set of religious beliefs and think that it is much more about the relationship with God than the ceremonies and relics that some will cling to...but a wedding is like introducing your relationship to God. This matters to me.

On the other hand (because I do happen to have two) isn't it the person you are loving that is really important? If I find someone to be my other half forever, until the day I die, who cares if it approved by society? Won't God love the both of us just the same?

Oi, I am procrastinating like no ones business right now. I need to get down to preparing for finals/ Vails this weekend/ my work shifts all week/ moving out/ getting ready to go abroad/ life. Yeah...shouldn't take too long. Much love to all, especially those who may be stressed over life now.

~Claire
p.s. Had a really nice regatta/ hang time with friends/ car ride yesterday :)