I Am Martha Stewart

So...I have decided that I am going to keep track of major meals that I cook for friends and family and then report back on how they went afterwards, and if people would like the recipes they can post a comment; which would be cool since it isn't something that anyone seems to do any more. SO here is tonight's Post-Christmas meal for my family, Aunts, Uncle and cousins:

-Sage rubbed Pork chops with cinnamon and brown sugar apples
-Sautéed green beans
-Garden salad
-English Trifle (my sister is making this part)

Hope the season is going well, finally got my white Christmas after returning from the vacation in Florida. There is no doubt, I am a northern girl.

~The Singing Ginger

Afterward: So maybe this recipe would have been better to me if I liked pork...yeah. On the whole it was taken very well by my family. Did roasted asparagus with olive oil, salt and pepper instead of the beans, way awesome. The meat was slightly overdone and the apples kind of outdid the sage rub on the pork, but everyone said they liked it. I don't really think this is a accurate indicator of a good meal though.
My rating 5/10 Approximate Family rating: 7.5/10

God Jul

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

~The Singing Ginger

The Future Scares the Hell Out of Me

So I am sitting here and looking over things for the Peace Corps and Graduate school, and all of these other crazy life decisions, and all I can think about is how much this all scares the hell out of me. I am looking at schools in different states and I am applying for a program that is going to take me away from my country for two years. Why the hell am I doing this? I am tighter with my family than anything else in my entire life. Am I just holding on to some sort of nomadic dream or traveling the world and having adventures? Is this what I really want? Can someone want something that scares them so bad?

This is the answer I have come up with. Yes, I can want something that scares the hell out of me. Yes, this is all life coming at me like mad, but...that is exciting as hell, and though i am scared out of my pants, I feel like I am on the brink of something truly amazing. I love my family and friends, and they are the most important parts of my life, but they wouldn't be the amazing set of friends nor the amazing relations that are family, if they weren't going to stay that way when I drop off the map for a little. Its going to be hard, and it is going to suck at times, because I am going to miss them so much, but if I don't go I am always going to wonder what my life would have been had I gone.

I refuse to be the the grandmother (heaven willing) that is on her death bed wondering what she could have done. Pondering who she could have met had she had nerve to go out and explore everything there was to explore. I will be the old woman (again, heaven willing) that went everywhere, and talked to everyone and has pictures on her mantle of both her dogs (I am not a cat person) and every corner of the globe. I want to speak a little of every language and worship in every religious building and wear out every pair of shoes I will ever own. I want the sun burn of the dessert, I want the waves of the ocean, I want concrete of every city, and the canopy of every forest. I want it all and though I may not get it, I will be damned if I am not going to try.

So I will put aside my fear, even if for a moment so I can catch my breath and refill my lungs. I will put one foot in front of another, and stop only when the pavement ends, and then go beyond that until the ground falls off, and sand is washed away.

"Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends."
~Shell Silverstein

~The Singing Ginger
I would like to dedicate this entire post to Amelia Lynn Callam, who on this day in 2006, became my guardian angel. Love you forever Mo.

Resolution Average

So, as promised about 30seconds ago, I am going to go over what I was able to accomplish last year in hopes I can do better next year!

-Get to healthy weight
*Not there yet, but 15lbs lighter than when I wrote this the first time!

-Learn patience and self reliance
*self reliance, hell yes. Patience, no way in hell.

-Kiss someone who means something to me/ don't kiss anyone who doesn't mean anything to me
*I have kissed someone who has meant something to me this year (though not really under the right state of mind) but unfortunatly I have also locked lips with a few who are special, and mean something but not in the way they should to be kissing them.

-Be more truthful
*Think I did better with this one, but there is still room for improvement.

-Find something to love about myself everyday
*I love myself, I probably don't need to be in a therapy-like exercise of reassuring myself every single day in order to know this.

-Get down to a 2:09 6k split time
*2:06:05 biatches :)

-Make art
*Nope, haven't really done this, sad face

-Sing more
*pretty much the same, which makes me sad, but more and more chances coming up

-Take a chance and do something totally random
*His name is Ski and he pretty much assures that this is taken care of every day

-Stop swearing as much
*I think I did pretty good on this one, but I also think this is me growing out of something I felt the need to do when I was a year younger.

-Keep grades up
*Eh, bad, MUST do better!!


Okay, so the grand total (including half for the patience/ self reliance and half for truth) would be 5 out of 11...wow. I mean I guess that isn't horrible, but it isn't great. Will have to do better for next year. So, I know its early to be doing this, but consider this a Happy Winter Holiday whateverness, and a wonderful New Year as well!

~The Singing Ginger

Ole Lang Sine

So it's that time of year again folks! New Year's resolution time; the time of year when I promise myself to rededicate and refocus my energy toward achieving my goals. I could start in on how this never works and I always loose my dedication and focus about two weeks in, but I am going to opt to stay positive about it, since being pessimistic would be the easy way out. And since it is a million times easier to fail when you are expecting yourself to do so, I am going to try and stay positive. So here it is, this year's resolutions!

Claire's New Year's Resolutions:

-Get myself back into shape for nationals...like WAY IN SHAPE
-Work on being semi-female like
*****I am kind of a tomboy and though I love being like that, on the occasion I would like to know how to be a girl.
-Find more places to perform and sing
*****This does not include impromptu concerts for my family, which, though fun, are not all that challenging.
-Use Betty (my guitar) more often and get at least 6 more memorized guitar parts under my belt.
-Apply to Peace Corps, Graduate School, and Foreign Service
-Learn to be okay with just myself
*****Without getting too dramatic or wishy washy, after being single for two years plus, I need to learn to be okay with being that way and not be taking up too much of my time worrying about when Mr. Right is going to come along. Don't get me wrong, I am still looking, but there is more to life than finding someone to spend it with.
-Achieve at least an overall 3.5 for next semester's grade point
-Get into the Phoenix or David Bowie Co-Op.
-Achieve 1 of 3 options:
*****Get into the CLS program and study in Turkey
*****Get a summer internship
*****Work and then take an epic road trip before going back to school
-Start writing a book
*****Or at least get a good idea for one

And that's pretty much it. My next post is going to PROBABLY be around which of last year's resolutions I actually stuck to. Actually, why wait? Going to post this under a new title and let you know how I did last year.
-

Breathe in Breath Out

I am getting a tattoo this weekend, and as much as I HATE to say it (because I know if my parents read this they are going to jump all over it and use it to their own advantage) I am getting nervous. This is easily the most permanent decision I have made up to this point in my life, that wasn't a no brainer (continuing my education, continuing certain relationships, sticking to my morals and/ or principals.) I am going to have something permanently ingrained in my SKIN! I've wanted this for a long time and now that it is finally coming all the weird little questioning midgets hanging out in my head are deciding to voice their opinion. I was talking to one of my best friends about it and he said something along the lines of me being worried about it being approved of, or if people thought it was any good. To be honest I think he was right, as much as I believe that this is MY tattoo and no one else's business, I would worry if I had people constantly telling me it looked like a piece of shit. I think this worry can be taken care of by the fact that I put a lot of research into this artist and I am confident in her capabilities to create a unique and wonderful piece of art (some of her previous work is displayed here.)

So what continues this sweaty palm reaction in myself even as I type about this momentous event this weekend? Some might suggest the pain factor in getting a tattoo, and though there is no doubt in my mind that this is going to be a "day of" worry, it is not so much right now. I have been through some very physically painful experiences in my life and if this is the worse one I am in pretty good shape. All-in-all a couple of hours of pain for a life long piece of art is a pretty good trade off.

So here is what I have come up with: I am worried about my future. This is the stereotypical worry and doubt when it comes to getting tattoos and as special as I think I am I have been unable to escape this particular situation. I am worried about what the future me is going to think about this position, about what future husband, or children, or bosses are going to think. I am worried that when I am old and wrinkly and liver spotted that I will look back on this and wonder what the hell I was thinking. I guess the only consolation for myself that I can offer would be that this can be a beautiful reminder of my youth, or my changing ways and of the things that I love now. I will always love music, I can say this without doubt or worry or anything else. So I guess the real question would be whether or not I am always going to love tattoos, and this is not an answer I can provide with any kind of certainty.

To those that might be reading that will be accompanying me this weekend, I ask only for support. I know you may not like this decision, I know you many not approve, but I would ask that you wouldn't take advantage of my worry to further your own hopes for a clean epidermal canvas. If you really can't do that just be neutral, get me through the day, stave off the jokes, or the personal opinions until I am all tattooed up. Thank you for your love, in any and all decisions that I make.

~The Singing Ginger

Rant Continued: Babies

As promised I have come back with a vengeance to continue my rant, starting, as all good rants do, with babies.

Let me lay down the guidelines for this one, when I am ranting about babies I am not talking about accidental pregnancies. I am a liberal pro-lifer and I think that if a woman decides to keep her child, at any age, under any circumstance, that it is a courageous decision that should be applauded and supported. That being said, to all you 20 yr olds out there who made a conscious decision to have a child, and become parents...for lack of a better term...WTF? You are barely out of your own childhood years and you think you can handle the constant care and attention that is required to properly raise a child?!? Go to school! Get drunk at football games! Have children LATER. There is not a reason on earth that you should feel the need to have a kid right now. If you really think you do, offer to do a long term baby sitting job for a family member or friend. When I say "long term" I mean a week or more (and lets be honest, even that isn't really enough time.)

Babies are crying, pooping, whining, time/ life sucks that are going to keep you up at all hours of the morning. Babies then turn into toddlers who will be running around with sharp objects, pulling things off of shelves, putting things in their mouths, and learning to potty train all over the house. Toddlers turn into preteens who suck more money and need braces, and doctor visits, and join sports teams. Then they turn into teenagers who will take out every drop of pent up anger they have out on you for being their parent. And after all is said and done you probably will have raised yet another 20 year old who decides, because they barely scraped by without permanent damage (and this really can't be accessed until they get a shrink in their 40s), that they too should have a kid at 20.

I want children, I want to be a mother, I want to have babies and do all the things listed above. I think children are wonderful and life changing and can be the best part of someone's life. In the same breath I don't want one now, hell I don't want one for at least the next 6 years or so. I love my life of staying up late, not to breast feed, but to cook and watch Conan O'Brien and The Office with my friends. I like having the time to read, or work out, or do absolutely nothing if I so choose. Hell I can't keep my apartment clean, how the hell am I going to raise a kid?

Its great that you have the physical capacity to have a child, that you can support them and that you have the want to have one. That isn't going to be enough to make you a good parent. That isn't going to be enough to make sure your child gets the best out of life and their up bringing. Wait, just give it some time, you aren't going anywhere and assuming something horrible doesn't happen your ovaries/ penis is going to continue to be able to have children for a long time coming.

So yeah...

~The Singing Ginger

Rant

Rant for the evening: girls and guys my age (20) should not be having babies. You shouldn't be getting married, you shouldn't be buying a house or moving in together or signing pre-nups. People my age should stop pretending like they want to be adults by doing childish things.

But wait, you may be saying to yourself "claire, I thought you were a desperate romantic who thinks that love will triumph over all?!?" I am, without apology, but marriage and love have damn near next to nothing to do with each other. That's right, I said it. The chick that has day dreams about the long white dress in a church with her friends and family, and can't wait till someone uses the word wife when referring to her as their life partner, just said love and marriage have almost nothing to do with each other. They don't. People who don't love each other get married all the time, and there are plenty of people out there that love each other that aren't married (or even allowed to get married.) Marriage is an outward symbol to your faith, community, government and family that you will be sticking together forever, but it comes from love that is already suppossed to exist, it doesn't create it.

That being said, one of the reasons marriage is so under valued these days is because people get divorced so damn often. I don't think it is because society is going to hell, and that our generation is copulating everywhere all over everything, it is because our society has crafted a mind set where we HAVE to get married. Marriage is beautiful and wonderful and sacred, and people should get married...if they want to, and when they know that the person they love is going to be the one they want to wake up next to for the next forever. If you really love someone, and are going to spend the rest of your life with them, why not wait? You are going to be with them forever anyways! If you don't believe that, if you think a marriage will make your relationship stronger, you shouldn't be getting married. Your relationship should be as strong as you think that it could possibly be before you get hitched. It might get stronger after anyways, but you shouldn't expect that.

I am going to rant about babies later, I have to go do something productive now.

~The Singing Ginger