Change

I need change.

I don't know if its the fact that I have been in school for too long, or having to work for around 16 hours a week all year, or that I am so sick of erging I could pull my hair out, but I need some change. The typical "I think I will pierce something" is not going to cut it this time around because I feel like too much of what I need to change is a settings thing. I don't want to be here, I want to be somewhere else. I don't want to be going to the classes I have (accept the Jewish one), my professor's are getting under my nails, and the team (though I love them with everything that I have, are driving me nuts.

It is sad that in order to get through my Political Islam class I am having to map out possible road trips I can take this summer. I just don't want to be here any more. I want to get out and have an adventure, and not that I don't love the adventure's I have with my newly minted boyfriend (did I mention I am seeing someone?) but going to Meijer to buy Battle Ship is only going to keep me happy for so long. When I get feelings like this its how I know that International Relations was the place for me. I might be a homebody but I need to get the heck out of here!!!!

Whats worse is that my political Islam class is now talking about Turkey and places that I have been, and history I already know about. I want to travel! I want to do something! The snow is making me go insane, not that i don't love snow but just because it is winter, and its cold and I can't just go outside and look up at the sky...because its cold and wet. Maybe I will go snowboarding this sunday, I don't know, I just need to get out. Not only my apartment, but this state and this school (if you can even call it that, since it is more like a business than anything else, but that is a rant for another day.)

Oi...

~The Singing Ginger

Life Philosophy

So things have been a bit hectic over the past few weeks. Meeting new people, creating new relationships and trying to maintain old ones. All of this while rowing, working and schooling, which seems to the be the constant trinity in my life. It has been a wee bit dramatic, which also seems to happen when I deal with slightly more emotional situations than normal. Here is what I have come to by way of reflection on myself.

I am a highly passionate individual. I feel and experience the things in my world with much fervor and great depth. This in turn causes me what most would refer to as "drama" I don't cut people out of my life easily, I don't shut myself away to helping people with their issues or letting people, on the occasion, help me with mine. I don't keep things to myself and I am horrifically open. This blog would be a testament to that, I am writing out my thoughts are releasing them to the access of the entire world (accept maybe China :)) without reserve, for the most part. Because of all of these things, I have drama, and I am often around drama. Up until this point I truly thought that this was something I needed to work on and get rid of, but I think I might be changing my tune.

In order to cut drama from my life, I would have to cut certain people out. Not going to happen. My friends are wonderful, even when they are dramatic, and I like the complexity and diversity that comes along with each and every one of them. I would have to stop letting people vent to me, which in turn gets me stressed about their problems. I like helping people and getting them through things and making them happy, which means saying "no" doesn't happen often. I would have to keep some things to myself. To be honest, at this point in my young life, keeping things to myself just isn't going to happen, I tell people things, I vent and bitch and whine, and that is part of how I deal with things. And finally i would have to shut myself off to being an open person. This would be the biggest issue because I like sharing myself with people, I like letting my passions be known to the world, I like painting with my own shade of color.

I am a passionate individual and I would have it no other way. I feel and express and emote in big, loud, overbearing ways, and that is how I like it.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are things I need to work on doing that are not going to change me as a person that have the ability to cut down the drama. And also understand, that there is good drama and bad drama and just because I accept that a byproduct of my personality is drama doesn't mean I like marinating in it forever and ever.

So I will take on the drama. I will accept and welcome the beauty that comes with the depth and complexity of human emotion in all its forms. I will try and eliminate it where I can, but when it comes my way I will realize that in order to live my big passionate life, that this will be an effect, and I will welcome it with open arms.

Hope everything is coming up roses!
~The Singing Ginger

What the Heck?

So I thought I had everything figured out...and then I didn't. I guess the only thing I can ever be sure of is that I will never be sure of anything. I promise, within the next week I will let you know. It has something to do with my love life, and I think it is going to be a good thing.

On another hand: started the weight loss supplement "Alli" yesterday. Going to try this out and thought i would be up front and honest with any readers and let you know how everything goes. That way you are left with some options a.) if it is something you were thinking about doing, I will try it out first and you can get some information on it. b.) you can laugh at any odd reactions I might have to it (and there are some possible side effects if I end up falling off the wagon) or c.) you can be jealous when my body turns into that of a super model over the course of a couple weeks. :)

So far it has been fine, a little stomach upset but that is about it. For sure makes me think about what I am about to eat just because I have to pop a little blue pill before every meal. I have a little online account thingy too, my first check in will be on tuesday. I will also try and keep up with tracking my weight loss on here.

Weight Lost to Date: 0lbs (though I guess it could be something since I haven't actually weighed myself today...but who knows)

Hope everything is coming up roses!
~The Singing Ginger