Last Ode to Pudge

Oh Pudge, what a long and illustrious relationship we have had. You, flowing over my pant tops. You, squeezing out past where my boobs should have ended. Panty lines, muffin tops, jiggly stomach, and flabby thighs, oh what times we have had!! I have lived with you through the years and through the years our relationship has grown and changed. In the early times we were cute and giggly together. You got me cheek pinches, and we enjoyed long walks in my diaper. Even as elementary school came on we still pulled off the slightly bigger toddler thing. But if I am being honest middle school and high school were tough years for us. We were supposed to grow apart naturally, coming to a smooth and happy conclusion. You got clingy. You hung around in all the wrong places, refusing to leave me alone. Softball, swimming and biking didn't have any effect on you. Diets and tears and arguments and you still caused drama in my life.

Finally college came and you came with it. I had resigned myself to be with you forever, in a never ending relationship from hell. Then a miracle! I have found the one to replace you and his name is Crew. Crew is going to kick your ass, and tighten mine. Crew is going to make me sweat you out of my system and banish you forever. You had to know this was coming Pudge, after the summer Crew and I's love affair had been sealed and you should have known you were on the way out the door. We make passionate love every morning on the water as the sun comes up at 5am. He makes me feel good about myself even when it hurts, it hurts so good. So adieu my sweet Pudge, it never could have lasted between us. :)

Hope life is swell.

~The Singing Ginger

Short Story

So i wanted to work on my descriptive writing and I am author ADD so I tend to write in short stories. This one is sort of depressing but I think it gives a very clear picture of the protagonist. :) Stay wonderful!

~Singing Ginger

“Shower” Short Story

She sat in the small closet that passed for a dorm room shower, letting the water pour over her body. She watched as it trickled down her neck and flowed over her bare breasts, it rained down her legs and flowed off of her toes down into the drain. She realized that even though her body remained perfectly intact something was hurt more than any broken bone. His rejection had led to her to a far worse place than any hospital bed or medical table, she was alone now. It hurt, fuck it hurt. A life time of warring between the school counselors saying she could be a strong woman all on her own, and the magazines that said her worth could only truly be recognized if she was in a relationship had finally ended in one painful conclusion. She wouldn’t die if she was alone but she would be left hurt and broken. How could she do this? How had any woman ever done this? It hurt like it would never stop, it hurt like the pain would just keep rolling over her like the water from the faucet head. She pulled her knees into her body and inspected herself. Her boobs where a full C cup on a smaller D cup body. Her belly undulated twice before dipping down into a full head of curly red hair. Her thighs were dotted with the occasional in grown follicle and amassed the majority of her weight. They evened out into what she considered her wonderfully proportioned calves that had managed to stay tight even after the softball that had sculpted them that way had ended. Her feet lacked an arch, which took away some of the gracefulness normally afforded to that part of the body. Overall she was a slightly fitter than typical big girl. She would not catch glances on the street, she would not be approached at bars. Her beauty would only be recognized through her personality, her personality would be stifled by the rejection of her body type in what society defined as “pretty” which again left her here, in the shower, alone. Why would anyone risk this? What drove her to put herself out there when it could end in this? Was it the hope that at some point she would either find the person who wouldn’t land her in the shower or was it that at some point she would give up and no longer care? That a shower would go back to just being a shower and not a place to hide her tears. As her own faucets opened up to their fullest and the goblets snaked down the landscape of her face to mix with the rivers flowing over her body she wished for it all to end in some other land but the lonely. She wished there was a pill she could take to make it stop, to make the gut wrenching feeling twisting her insides together to untangle, to untwist, to let her go on living. To get her out of the freaking shower. As her eyes emptied the rest of their contents into the drain she stood herself up and once again. The unfortunate thing was that there was no cure, there was no pill and that unless she was otherwise taken to dying she would indeed keep on living. The second horrible conclusion she came to was that she was far from the first and far from the last person on earth to ever feel this way and that the only real thing she could do about it would be to wait until it went away. She turned the nozzle to cold and felt the change wash over her. She wiped her eyes (even though there was no real reason for that) and then turned the water off. She stepped out of the shower into a warm fuzzy towel, wrapped her head in a second towel and walked out of her bathroom and into her life once again.

Oi

Sometimes things just don't go your way.

~The Singing Ginger

Olympic Amazingness

So this is sort of a half finished non edited post that I never got around to finishing but that I still want to post. I know there is no way in hell I will finish it since the Olympics is over but I still thought there might be a little nugget of knowledge int here somewhere. :)

~Singing Ginger

In my family there is a set of holidays always adhered to. There are the traditional high holy days of my Mother's Catholicism, there are the add on holy days of my Father's Greek and Swedish heritage, and there are those two weeks that role around every two years. The two weeks that bring my family and my country together in a way only primordial tradition could, the Winter and Summer Olympics. This particular holiday has amazing roots in our family. My Farmour (Swedish for Grandmother) rode the Olympic torch across Sweden on horseback and was part of a wonderful equestrian line. My father was on the national US luge team (the one where you lay on your back on a little tiny tray and go down the bob sled track hoping not to crash and die) and almost made it to the Olympics. Before the Athens games my father was awarded the honor of carrying the torch once again for his family and country when it came through the US. The torch proudly sits in our house as a constant reminder to strive to be our best in everything that we do and have appropriate pride for our accomplishments.

So my family is big on the whole Olympics thing. But here is the point on my whole Olympics thing. The wonderful thing about the Olympics in the globalized day in age where everyone still seems to be alone is that as much as it could be the world comes together to some extent during this brief period in time.

Most Awesome Dance Party

I had a dance party today with Drew Barrymore, Ellen Paige, Jimmy Fallon, and Juliette Lewis. It was not in my head it was not while on drugs, it was right before the last shot was filmed for the day and it was so much fun. This most awesome dance party made the 14 hour work day totally worth it. :)

~The Singing Ginger

WAR CRY!!

Okay so I wrote this when I needed to give myself a little bit of motivation. I don't want people to think that this is a "look how much better I am than everyone" thing. I think everyone should have their own war cry. You can use this one if you want to, just switch some of the words around and insert your own stuff. I say this when I am hating on myself, when I am uncertain, and when I need to feel pumped about how cool I am :) This is meant to be said with much vigor/ pumped-uped-ness/ loud/ war cry esque.
I love you all


I kick ass. That’s right bitches right here I kick ass! I have done things most kids my age won’t do until they’re 40 or maybe never. I have made it through a 270 mile bike ride, I have sung at the Chicago House of Blues, I have been to Australia…twice. I have done things most people will never get the chance to. I have loved passionately, I have made beautiful music, I have lived! I have lived! That’s right bitches I kick ass. And you know what in the end I have to be happy with myself and you know what bitches? I AM! I have the best family in the world, I have the best friends a girl could ask for, I have so much love! I am an amazing person. You would be damn lucky to know me, I am friendly, I love so many people so very much, I am nice for the most part and you know what? I have my draw backs but pretty much I just rock. The people I hang with rock too, the people that I love rock as well. I rock so much that I am able to surround myself with people who rock. I don’t need a man or anyone else to tell me these things. I stand firm in my beliefs and I trust my gut and rely on my instincts. I will not be shaken! I will not be put asunder! I am woman! I am Ginger! I kick ass! Fuck anyone else who thinks otherwise! HA! Why cannot every woman and every man have this realization? Why is it that those who rock most have such insecurities? Why is it that assholes tend to have the most confidence? Why can’t the beautiful people of the world take back their confidence and tell those assholes to go shove it?!? SHOVE IT ASSHOLES! I KICK ASS! I have so much love in my heart and I am a lucky enough person to be able to express it and to share it because I have so much, I have too much love! That’s right I have so much love I have to share it or I will explode. God put me on this good earth to love and kick ass! AND THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHH! (war cry)

~The Singing Ginger

Relief

Wow, I did it! I wasn't sure if I was going to have the chutzpah, but I did. I stopped things with G (at least for the next two and a half weeks.) The only sad and nagging thing is, he seemed to be fine with it. This may be the beginning of the actual and total end. I truly think though we might have a chance at the friend thing now. That may seem desperate or odd but now that this is done and I have seen this part of things I might be able to find enough things about him that would make it okay to be just friends. Hell, if he doesn't care then it won't be all that hard.

FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING TOMORROW!!

~The Singing Ginger

Here We Go Again

So as we enter the month of August I have the wonderful task of figuring out all my crap before I go back to school. Many may think that, that is a funny sort of statement seeing as many seem to think that college age students are having the times of our lives and should be enjoying it and must really stop complaining all the time. Well to those people I tell you it is no walk in the proverbial woods.
First off we have the whole housing debacle; this consists of my roommate and I trying desperately to get off campus for NEXT year. Yeah thats right people, if we want to sign a lease on a rental house or an apartment or even a refrigerator box (which would probably be a space up grade from our dorm) we have to start looking right now! Actually we should have started looking yesterday...at least. A subset of this problem comes in the from of finding enough people to fill said house. So far it is my wonderful roommate and myself, our fabulous friend John and an old Irish friend of mine names Rose. Most housing we are looking at are five person houses which is good because people get more space and which is bad because not only do they cost more but our fabulous friend John would like a male roommate to balance out all of the ranging female hormones that will be flying around.

Then we have what I should be moving up with THIS year. Last year I brought up way too much crap and I am trying to cut down, but the entire process of sorting through my things and figuring out what I truly need and what I don't is a little bit time consuming as well as energy zapping. Along with the list of things that I need to be moving up this year we also have some of the more contraband items I will be bringing up...in the form of liquid...often consumed by college age students. Well apparently I am the go to gal for this (though I would be lying if I said I didn't find some sort of sick pride in that) even though I plan on cutting back this year because of some health problems described in previous posts and that will be elaborated on in this one later on.

Second to last we have the whole job thingy. I decided after much thought and deliberation...okay i decided after 30secs searching the campuses job finder, that I was going to quit the hell hole of a job that I was working last year in the cafeteria. Seeing as i have very little money to pay for books and the such, and that i have $50 being taken out for a 401K already (how screwed up is a country when a college age person has already started saving for retirement?) I need to find a new job now. This will hopefully be taken care of tomorrow because I am going up to the campus to go searching early.

Last but not least, we have drama. My constant and clingy companion. If you read some posts farther down the page you will come to find this nice little story about Jane and Jim which then turns into G and C. If you have been following along you might have come to realize that I, in fact, am Jane and C. Jim and G are played by the role of my ex boyfriend. No matter what has happened this summer (and a lot has happened this summer) there is no getting around the fact that G will be joining me up at college and that his dorm is right down the street from mine. At this point I have already told him I won't be spending a whole heck lot of time with him if his mission in life is to screw every girl on campus before even talking about a relationship. But as in most matters, easier said then done. I will make sure to keep everyone posted of the juicy details, but I have the sinking feeling this is going to get worse before it gets better.

One last update for the night before i hit the hay. I went to the doctor's last Friday to figure out what this whole numbness situation is doing. After a battery of tests that resembled something like a drunk driving evaluation she rules out the possibility of anything WAY serious. In her words "I don't think it is a tumor." *Sigh of relief* As great as that is we still don't know what is wrong with me, so she sent me to get a bunch of blood tests. I will find out results on Tuesday. My mother on the other hand felt the need to tell my doctor (she wanted to come into the room which I didn't have a problem with since I don't think this has anything to do with my nonexistent love life) that she is of the opinion that I am under a ton of stress and anxiety and that that might be the issue. She then went on to explain in order the top three stresses of my life in the past year and a half.
*One of my best friends died right before second semester of senior year
*Went to college
*Ended an almost two year (one year and 10months) relationship
She then went on to add that i was having "boyfriend" issues with said EX boyfriend...which I am not...because we aren't dating...because he is "playing the [damn] field." Okay time for bed. Hope all is peachy keen.

~The Singing Ginger