"I am a man of constant sorrow; I've seen trouble all my days!"
I love this song. If you don't know it look it up and then rent the movie. Afterwards you will be able to get a corn cob pipe and a floppy hat with some overalls and feel perfectly content. I am so ready for break at this point. I feel like I will enjoy the time to clear my thoughts and flush out the drama. Don't get me wrong I love every person in my life (or try to, at least) but people can cause so much crap for themselves. I know I do for myself, but I have started to notice that some people really do make choices that cause drama and do so knowingly. STOP CAUSING DRAMA FOR YOURSELVES! I should be yelling this at myself. I think the best drama is caused when we are trying to hang onto something that should have moved on and through our lives. The holding on is what causes drama, be that a person, a habit, a place or some other thing. Drama is the friction of life.
I should have skipped work today. I got a call for a person I had the chance to shadow and said I couldn't go because I had work, and I should have skipped it. This must be what it feels like to work a job you don't like, or live in a place you don't like living in. Some choices should just be made no matter what the consequences. Normally I am the person to do that, today I wasn't and I felt what it is like to be on the other side. I think that half the time I am as sane as I am is because I make the constant choice to put my sanity over other things like school work, or cleanliness, or my job. There have been very few times where I have had to stay up till all odd times in the morning, not because I plan ahead and am a responsible person (because surely I am not) but because at some point I will choose to go to bed and suffer whatever consequences of my actions.
This is what I have learned sometime between high school and college. Everything in life is a trading game. You trade your degree for a job, sleepless nights for a paper, a relationship for a chance at something better, or money for any numerous amount of things. It is the trades we are willing to make that define who we are. I am not willing to trade the possibility of a relationship for sex. I could get a lot of sex right now (I have had three offers in the past couple of weeks) but I want something real and something more important than sex and I am not willing to trade that goal for sex. Many would argue that I could get both but in that case I would argue yet another trade I choose not to make. I choose not to get physically entangled with someone because I know, chances are, that I will get emotionally entangled with them. I am choosing to not risk heart break for sex...go me.
I am not trying to make this sound like I am some all wise saint, I am far from that, but I feel like I have figured out something that a lot of people haven't gotten yet. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE! It may seem like you are being forced into something but really you aren't. A woman may believe that she can't get around her families expectations for medical school but she can. She must trade some of her families respect, or in some cases all of it, for the chance at something better. I realized this the day I choose to stay up until 3am with some youth group friends that were graduating. I knew my parents would yell at me and that I would get grounded but it was worth it. My Father's reaction to this was "What are you going to do? Just decide that you don't have to listen to us if it is worth your while?!?" and my answer was yes, I will. I traded getting grounded for spending time with my friends, one for the other, it was my choice.
Drama happens when we feel that we have no other choice, and we feel the need to hold on to what we know because we know it has worked well in the past and therefore it must work well now, whenever or wherever we are existing. This is truly not the case, life is wide and expansive and we have only the obligation to do what makes us happy as long as we aren't tramping all over someone else's happiness in a permanent way (I say permanent because in fact there are times when tramping on another's happiness is warranted, otherwise everyone would be trapped in their first relationship forever and ever.) People can choose to be happy assuming they can overcome the obstacles that will always be springing up to prevent that. Life is not stationary, life is not solitary and life is not miserable. Life is an adventure if we so choose.
For all your life advice
always yours,
~The Singing Ginger
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