Old Fart

So here is my goodbye to teenagerhood! In about 20mins I will be turning 20 and I will be done with my teenage years. This has been a wonderful/ horrible/ exciting time in my life and I made it through with only a few bumps and bruises and a couple of major scars to show for it. I have found my voice and lost it a couple of times; I have loved and lost, written and erased, and learned that you can't hold on to anything forever and so you have to hug it tight while you can. Life is a hike made of individual foot prints that one must enjoy one step at a time in order to see the whole forest.
This might be a bit of a sad post, but I am going to be selfish and not think much on what anyone else might think of it.

Amelia: you were prehaps the most painful and most wonderful learning experience of my life up to this point. You taught me how to measure a person for their true worth, that life can be both brief and beautiful and that a 17 year old can die gracefully with little to no regrets about what she has accomplished while on this earth. I will love you forever and know that you are somewhere up there looking down.

Mom & Dad: you both continue to be this amazing pair of role models and I couldn't have asked for better parents. Your unquestionable love for all your children is something of a fairy tale to me, and the fact that it doesn't seem to end, even after 20 years of my dramatics, has been, and will continue to be a miracle in my day to day life. I hope you have no regrets about how you raised me, because I certainly don't have any qualms about how I was raised.

*I am now 20*

Friends: And you should all know by now I won't name any names, but you should also know who you are. You guys are the oil to my engine. Nothing ticks right without any one of you. You have kept me going when i didn't think it was physically possible to do so any more. You all teach me so much about life and learning and life and rowing and life and myself and yourself...and life. :) You make life less lonely by simply existing within mine. Even though some of you may not be as much of a part of it as you were, and some of you may only last a brief time, each one of you has changed a part.

Zoe and Adam: you should know, first off the bat, that I would go to the ends of the earth for either of you and even though I don't live in the same house as you guys I would be there if you needed me; anytime, day or night. Watching you guys grow and getting to be a part of your lives has been an adventure to say the least. I am sorry if I wasn't always the most including big sister when we were all younger, but know that you have both grown (and will continue to grow) into people I love and respect. You are my baby sister and my lil bro bro and nothing will ever change that (no matter how tall you get.)

Gaebrial: it surprises me to give you a portion of this blog, but it feels right. You were, and will always be, my first love. You have a spot in my heart no one can touch. You taught me so much about myself and even with how things ended I would not trade our 1 yr and 10months for anything in the world. I know you may not feel the same but you were a very important part of my growing up. I wish you could read this, but I have the feeling you probably never will. I love you all the same for what you were to me, and wish you happiness in what you will become.

Professors/ Teachers: you are the metaphorical village that raised the child that was me. If it wasn't hard core facts I was learning from any one of you it was how to deal with lifes challenges. Even those of you I could not stand taught me how to deal with myself and deal with people. Those of you I loved, I will love forever and you have given me the gift of wanting and yearning to know more about everything. My education and my mind has been fostered in the classrooms I have sat in with you. My quest for knowledge will never cease and therefore neither will your influence.

and finally...

Coaches: I had the opportunity to see an old softball coach the other day, and it reminded me how much of what little work ethic I have, I developed on a field, or a pool or on a river. It was all of you that taught me honor and selflessness for a team. It was each one of you that drove me to be better than I had thought myself to be. Your words that pushed to to take more, steal one more base, swim one more lap, row that 2k a secons faster than the last. I undoubtably hated each of you at one point or another, but my respect for you all goes so far beyond words...well I cannot say.

Thank you to everyone that got me to this point. This 20 anniversary of my short trip to earth. It has been beautiful and I can only image will continue to be so. The adventure continues, and I am glad you were all there for the first leg of it.
Hope everything is coming up roses.

~The Singing Ginger

?

Ever wanted to call someone but you weren't sure if you should or not? That is me...right now.

~The Singing Ginger

Yay!

All done, woot go me. The Dad Vail was amazing but I couldn't really shake the feeling that I would much rather be rowing than watching. Life goes on though and right now I am preparing to race at ACRAs and I like that venue better anyways. At this point I am just trying to reboot my system and get ready for study abroad this summer. I am so pumped. First to Turkey and then to Belgium.

Warning: this blog will be changing course around that point. This is going to be a travel blog for about two months while I am over there. Might be some philosophical stuff here and there but for the most part I will be keeping track of my day to day stuff, which means the writing style will be more like a journal for myself and less like a blog written for other people. I might even try and be tech savvy and post a few pictures here and there...oooo look at me and my bad picture postin self!

Not much else going on right now. Two-a-days for rowing. Chillin out with some peeps I haven't seen in a while. Hanging at the apartment. Thinking about things; boys, life, traveling, cooking. I am making an awesome meal for the girls I am living with on monday. I am going to start off with cheese stuffed cherry tomatoes with balsamic vinaigrette. Then a straight up salad, and for the main course a pesto pasta with grilled chicken breast. I am going to make honey glazed sweet potato wedges as a side and I still haven't come up with a dessert. I am pumped to have the chance to cook again, i really miss having a kitchen and though the one in the apartment isn't as big it will make do.

Alright that will be all for now. More later. Toodels!

~The Singing Ginger

Quicky

I just witnessed the guys who live across the hall from me in the dormitory moving out...via a professional moving company. Here is a big thank you to my parents for never making it even a tolerable thought to waste that kind of money on something I can, not only do myself, but do for free and also teach me a little something something about being independent. If I so much crap that I can't move it by myself, I have to get rid of it. Post more later. Hope finals are going well.

~The Singing Ginger (Who does have too much crap and will probably be tossing a lot of it.)

List

Hehehehe so I moved to the study lounge in attempts to be more productive and all I can think about is how I don't want to do anything other than write...about nothing to do with finals. So I have made a deal with myself: I can post once more tonight and then I need to put in about 3 hours before I get to post again. Nothing like wanting to avoid something to get you doing mundane tasks...like updating your blog.

List of Things I Want to Learn/ Do This Summer:

1. Get lost in europe: though obviously there are some places where this is safer to do than others, I do just want to spend a day being lost in a city in Turkey and a city in Belgium. Not by myself necessarily, but no map, no plans, no time limit. I think this is the best way to find places that aren't on the map, and meet people that aren't tour guides.
2. Barter in the Great Bazaar: I have done this before in Mexico and get a huge thrill out of it. I think it is fun and a good way to save money. I am going to go toe-to-toe with some of the pushiest vendors in all of Europe. Not to mention I have to find cheap stuff to bring back for everybody.
   
3. Start a conversation with a stranger/ local: you won't learn anything about the place if you don't know the people that have chosen to live their lives there.
   
4. See Izmir: this has a family story behind it. I will be the first in my family to return to Turkey since the Greeks and the Turks warred in this once Greek colony. I want to see the place where my family came from.
   
5. Go to a techno rave: because the Europeans do it so much better than the Americans ever could.
6. Hike: I am going to be spending a lot of time in cities because it is the best place to learn about the courses I am taking but I don't want to miss the natural wonder of the places I am visiting.
7. Take a ton of pictures: I am usually really horrible about doing this, but this is going to be one of the biggest adventures of my life (thus far) and I want to be able to look back on it. I also need more pictures of my family to put in my room next year.
   
8. Spend time getting to know my family: this could very well be the last summer I spend a significant portion of at home, and I don't want to miss anything. My family is my life and I love them to bits.
   
9. Have a pizza party/ sleepover with Megan: BECAUSE I MISS HER SO FREAKING MUCH!!!! Please come home from England soon, KThxBye.
   
10. Get back in shape for crew: I am coming back, this much I have decided for next year. I might have to work a corner to make ends meet but it is going to happen. I WILL be in the women's varsity boat next year, and there is nothing that is going to get in the way of that. There is also no way I am going to allow there to be any doubt that I don't deserve my seat/ that I am pulling my weight.
11. Spend a week or so in Canada: I love my grandmother's house in Canada because it is in the middle of nowhere and I always leave feeling more at peace than when I came. the biking, swimming, drinking and euchre playing is epic... always. There is also a slight chance I will get to go to the Canadian Henley with my friend Taylor and that will be AMAZING.
12. Last but not least: Get my tattoo: its been three years and I am ready.

I don't know why I am stopping at 12, but I am. I have a lot of other things I would like to accomplish this summer but we will see. It is going to be amazing and I can't wait.

Wow, I am listening to Girl Talk and looking up the final times for the Dad Vail last year; procrastination is death.

Here's to adventure!

~The Singing Ginger

p.s. Justin is a butthead and should stop making fun of me. :P Happy about being included now??

Tying the Knot: A Lifeline or Noose?

Interesting observation: when the rowing team disperses from any one event or another; be it practice, or a party or boat unloading (which was the case this morning) we don't say goodbye to each other. The reason for this would be that we all know that we will see each other within the next 24 hours or so. This is the only group I have ever been a part of that doesn't do this. It was pointed out to me by my good friend Laurissa and it got me thinking about how much I consider the rowing team my second family and how much they mean to me. If you have ever been a part of a group that is like that you will know what I mean. Its amazing and I love it.

Onto an entirely unrelated topic, I had an interesting conversation with David about marriage while at the regatta this weekend. He was talking about how he didn't ever plan on getting married. How it was a promise that he didn't feel the need to make. That he could spend the rest of his life with a person without actually marrying them. This concept is entirely foreign to me outside of my best friend Megan who has sworn of both kids and marriage as well. I come from a family that is full of mostly successful marriages. My parents celebrated their 23rd anniversary in April, my Aunt's and Uncle's are all in working marriages or happy singlehood, and both of my Grandparents have remarried after the death of their original spouses (though to be fair my Grandfather did divorce my Grandmother before she died.)

I was raised in the Catholic church when it comes to religion and always assumed I would get married and have kids at some point in my life. But looking around I realize that I have lived the charmed life. Most people who get married these days...put quite simply...shouldn't. About 50% of marriages end in divorce and lord knows how many people just end up unhappy. Is it the social expectation that pressures people into feeling like they should get married, even when they don't want to, nor should? Why is it that people find a need to legitimize a life long relationship? Do two people who have been together most of their lives count any less than a couple that has been married for that same amount of time? Truth be told I have been 100% guilty of this. I see people who have been dating for a certain time and who are a certain age and wonder why they aren't married yet. I think of those who have been together, live together but aren't married as weird hippie people who should just commit and get it done. At the same time I have told a few of my friends who have decided to get engaged/ married at a young age that there is no rush and if they are going to be together forever why does it matter if there is a ring or not?

I think part of this is because of the general romanticized image I have of both a wedding and marriage. The white dress, the first dance, the church and the party. I think there is something to be said about making a public lifelong commitment to someone. To saying in front of friends and family that you have found a person in which you will find happiness with for the rest for your life. If you really are planning on spending forever with this person what difference does it make if you decide to make it official. It won't stop the pain if it ends, and it is a public acknowledgment of claimed territory to others; of course the big thing would be that it is a commitment made in front of God. I prescribe to a liberal set of religious beliefs and think that it is much more about the relationship with God than the ceremonies and relics that some will cling to...but a wedding is like introducing your relationship to God. This matters to me.

On the other hand (because I do happen to have two) isn't it the person you are loving that is really important? If I find someone to be my other half forever, until the day I die, who cares if it approved by society? Won't God love the both of us just the same?

Oi, I am procrastinating like no ones business right now. I need to get down to preparing for finals/ Vails this weekend/ my work shifts all week/ moving out/ getting ready to go abroad/ life. Yeah...shouldn't take too long. Much love to all, especially those who may be stressed over life now.

~Claire
p.s. Had a really nice regatta/ hang time with friends/ car ride yesterday :)

Jumps Out of Cake

What I love about being myself, is that I am still at the age where I can surprise myself in being who I am. Let me explain: I occasionally am caught off guard by how I react in certain circumstances. Tonight I surprised myself, and I couldn't be happier.

~The Singing Ginger